Ladies night out

Night out? Well, not exactly. It was a night'in'. Some of the women in our neighborhood have made an effort to connect, and we are doing this by meeting occasionally for a glass of wine. We really enjoy each others' company, but the unpredictability and cost of a 'bar' was something we didn't really love. So, we decided to meet here at my house (my idea). Unfortunately, I didn't plan well....Mike was out of town, and the kids had choir and hockey. We arrived AFTER our guests, but the kids were amazing.
During the night tonight, and especially at my haircut last week, I was told, "your kids are amazing! They listen, do what they are supposed to do even when you're not there to make sure it's done, etc...what's the secret?" The truth is...I don't know. I think we are all given what we can handle, and the Lord must believe that this is what I can handle. I nearly burst with pride over them.....especially on nights like tonight when the come in and do EXACTLY what they were supposed to do for the entire evening. I am truly blessed. I am also blessed to know such great women and to have such friends. I wonder what it was like, many years ago, when meetings like this were consider normal and expected. Mothers were all home during the day, and they all gathered and exchanged stories and ideas while their children played. Just think of all the great parenting advice, marriage advice and LIFE advice you'd get! Maybe that is, in part, why "the greatest generation" was the greatest generation!!! I don't know....but, I do sometimes wish we valued these connections more in our current culture. Right now, I'm just thankful for the moment.

Our first "typical" day

For 2 1/2 weeks, I've been living a very surreal life....a life of 'homeschool bliss.' It's been nice. Today, a little bit of reality set in. The reality is that we will most likely NOT spend every day at home, uninterrupted. There will be things that come up from time to time. Sometimes, those things will be school related, and sometimes they won't.
Last night was a pretty late night for all of us. Mike's parents were here and came to David's practice. We went out to a late dinner with them, and then Grandma came over while the boys went grocery shopping for their fishing trip this weekend. The kids were SO excited to see Grandma that I just didn't have the heart to make them go to bed. Needless to say, I turned off our "7:30 alarm", and let everybody sleep. I got up at about 9:00, about 10 or 15 minutes after the kids. It was so quiet in the house....I came out to the livingroom and found them both reading quietly.
.....again, the conflict....I have a friend who swears she NEVER interrupts her kids if they are reading. However, I really want to get on with our day. We have so many interruptions today! Still, it's good to see them wake up and grab a book first thing in the morning. So, I decide to just let them read. Besides, I'm getting a nasty cold, my throat is sore, and it would hurt too much to tell them to stop.
...20, 30, 40 minutes pass. They are getting hungry, and I'm getting cranky as I watch them. How can they continue to be so unaware of the events of the day? "By any chance," I ask "Has anybody brushed their teeth, gotten dressed, or made their bed this morning?" "what?" is the reply? They act as though they've never heard of such a thing. "Uh, you know....the SAME THING WE DO EVERY SINGLE MORNING?" By now I realize that, although Greta is reading something from our 'reading basked' for school, David is reading Star Wars....again. Honestly, I don't know if he really is even reading it anymore. He just loves it. So, I call him on that. By now, it's after 10:00...kids aren't ready for the day, a little whiny, a little bickering, and saying they "really don't want to go for a walk." Against my better judgment, I agree and by now I'm downright cranky...."CAN WE PLEASE GET ON WITH THE DAY!!!"
Unfortunately, we only have about 1 1/2 hours before we need to go. We have a lunch planned with our former youth leader, and piano lessons immediately after. We decide to do as much as they can before we go...handwriting, math drills, Spanish, typing instructor. And then they gather their piano stuff....."OH! MY THEORY ISN'T DONE!!" ugh.
Lunch at 12:30, piano at 1:30-2:30. Forgot book at the restaurant...back to get it. Ran another errand, car out of gas, need groceries, etc., etc....just regular life stuff. It's almost 5:00 by the time we get back to school. The neighbors stop by to play and are sent away. The kids get down to business. Their schedules have been designed to be 4 day weeks. Friday is set aside for gym/Academy/possible playdates or making up work not done during the week. They have been looking forward to their 'day off.' They take a brief break for a snack and a bath, then back to it. They bring the remainder of their work with them to church, since I have a meeting to attend at 7:00.
What did I learn? Well....WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING making my children do school (or related activities) from 9:00-9:00???? They had NO free time today. None. Not all because they were doing school, but because they had an interrupted day filled with other 'life stuff.' They never finished their schedules today. They'll have to do that tomorrow, and it's not their fault at all. I think this means that I'm asking a bit much in a typical day, but I haven't yet learned how to fix that. Everything we do seems really important! Oh well....I'll figure it out, I'm sure. Meanwhile, I'm amazed at how they hang in there with me through all my screw-ups. I'm truly blessed.

"The Talk"

Well, it happened....today was the day I've been dreading since my children were born. I had to tell them about sex today.
It didn't happen as I planned. Mike and I had talked about having HIM tell DAVID sometime soon. As it turned out, we were sitting at the table doing school today, and GRETA asked a question. Actually, it might have been more like a statement...something like "so-and-so is an adult, so she could have a baby anytime." David replied that you had to be MARRIED to have a baby. I allowed them to bicker for a short time before they turned to me and said, "Mom, when CAN you have a baby?" I answered the question honestly....that God's design for us is that we WOULD be married when we have a baby. However, we have free will, and can choose to have a baby anytime we want to, married or not. The word 'choose' seemed all wrong to them. HOW DO YOU get pregnant? I took a deep breath and started to explain, in small steps....and I have to admit....I seemed quite confident to them, I'm sure. The more they heard, the more questions they had. Finally, Greta had heard enough. She was mortified to think that this might really be happening around her....and that other people might know about it! She covered her ears and said, "Enough!!!" I said, "OK....but if you ever have questions about anything like this again, please ask me, OK?" At this point, David said, "I just have to say this to get it out of my mouth (like it was a toxin)....does a boy actually put his penis in a girl's vagina?" "Yes," I replied. "What? I thought that when somebody asked me about sex, they just wanted to know if I was a boy or a girl!!!" At this point, I actually did laugh out loud....but then explained the difference. Greta's last request?.....DON'T TELL DAD ABOUT THIS! I started to laugh...."Sweetie, Dad knows all about this! You can talk to him about this anytime....he knows everything that I know!" "Are you sure???" (then, a look of horror and realization comes across her face)...."Do you do this to HIM?" (How did he stay so innocent in all of this in her eyes?) After a little clarification, she said, "Still...don't tell Dad we had this talk. I DON'T want to talk to anybody else about this!!!"
And last.....as I'm tucking them in tonight....Greta (disgusted) states "mom....just don't go do sex tonight, OK?" (now THERE'S something I never said to MY mother!!)
Ugh....a loss of innocence that I can't get back. Still, I'm so glad they heard it from me (and so is Mike....he's thrilled that he got out of it!!). The dreaded day has come and gone....and I lived through it. I hope I didn't cause any permanent damage! I did the best I could.

A Day in the Life of homeschooling....when mom loosens up a bit!

I spent a lot of time over the summer planning the school year. One of the ideas I decided to adopt from other homeschoolers is the idea of a "4-day week." If I can fit all of my curriculum for the week into 4 days, it opens up Fridays for things like Academy and gym, and gives us time for field trips. In the past, if we went on a field trip, we needed to make up for it some time during the week, OR get behind. Unfortunately, I ALWAYS felt behind over the last couple of years, and it has been an awful feeling. However, we have not really been able to 'try it out', yet. Our first week, we had Friday off because we took a 3 day weekend for camping...and this week was the Labor Day Holiday. So, I have not yet had the opportunity to really enjoy the luxury of field trip days or 'almost no school' days.
Today was Friday. I had a full schedule for the kids. They asked if they could start with chemistry, which worked really well for me. Chemistry and Bible are the two subjects that require the most of "me" this week. (Next week it will be writing, history and Bible). So, I'm always happy when they want to start with those subjects. Our plan today was to start Chapter 3....'Chemical Reactions.'. I expected to spend about 20 minutes introducing the concept, reading the first half of the chapter, and being done. But, for some reason, the idea of "chemical reactions" was really exciting and interesting to both of them. They thought that if they could actually do the EXPERIMENTS, maybe they could blow stuff up! So, they didn't want to stop. They were genuinely interested and before I knew it, we had covered the whole chapter, had a lot of discussion about it, pretended to be molecules exchanging atoms with each other, etc. "Can we do the experiments?" they asked.
-----now, this is when the little voice in my head said, "excuse me....science is done now....you need to get on with your day.....there's math and grammar and Bible, etc., etc., etc..--------
Today, I ignored the voice. Thanks to PREPARING AHEAD OF TIME (thanks, Greta), I had all of the necessary supplies to move ahead and do the experiement, which consisted of mixing several household items, 2 at a time, to see what happens! Is there a chemical reaction? How do you know? Gas formed? Precipitate? Color change? THEY COULD NOT GET ENOUGH!!!! And so, they mixed. Once they got the hang of it, I left to take a shower. They were still mixing and recording their results when I came out. Eventually, they had to clean up because I had a doctor appointment (getting my back checked out).
Here's the cool part....later that evening, David passed on a playdate to continue on doing his experiments. He found all of the supplies that had been put away, and as he told me "I just want to see what happens. I didn't get to finish." (notice one of the pictures of him....it's dark outside). He just never got tired of it.
And, although I am not thrilled that we missed ALL of the other subjects today, I have heard and watched and seen many seasoned homeschool moms do the same. They told me that one day this would happen, and they told me NEVER to stop real learning when it is fueled by curiosity and passion. And, their children have a hunger for learning that I can only dream about seeing in my children. Today, I followed the lead of these wise women, and just .....let them be fascinated, let them ask (and answer) questions all day....let them learn.

Pain and progress

We are halfway through week 2 of school. So far, so good. Our biggest problem so far? ME!! I am having excruciating back pain....it's terrible. It hurts to move, so badly that I actually cry out in pain. Unfortunately, I think camping caused it to get worse. The bed in the camper was agony for me to sleep in last weekend, and by the time we came home, I could barely walk. Getting in and out of the car takes a long time, and is so painful.
Still...I have committed to our 'morning walks' and I have to believe that walking is good for me. I already feel like I have gained a few inches back...and that is such a disgusting feeling. I was starting to feel good when we were running. That feels like a distant memory to me now...still, I have a dream that this will be over and I can get back to regular exercise. Right now, we just go to Purgatory Park in the morning, and I 'shuffle' around the 1.2 mile loop. Just once. I figure it's better than nothing.
But...get this....my extreme back pain, which has caused me, by necessity, to sit in a kitchen chair all day and not move....has been fantastic for school. I am committing to doing my best to stay off the computer during the day. I found that I am just too distracted on the computer to allow it during the school day. Since I can't be on the computer, and I need to be sitting in the kitchen, I am "all theirs" during the school day. When they are working on something and don't need me, I read a book....SERIOUSLY! I READ A BOOK! That feels GREAT to me! I get time to read! And, I don't feel like it is as big of a distraction...and neither do the kids. It's perfect. I am present to answer questions (not doing dishes or laundry), and help them stay on track. They are working hard to do their best. I am proud of all of us! Hmmmm.....I wonder if this was God's plan all along? I have to remember to TRUST. Trust. Trust.

Lessons they teach me

Greta likes organization. They both do, actually....but, Greta knows in ADVANCE that she loves organization. David figures it out in hindsight. Once he is 'forced' into a routine, he loves it and recognizes that it makes him happy. Greta recognizes disorganization immediately and tries to fix it.
Either way...."I" recognize this, and know that I am going to have to change drastically in order to make their school experiences positive and successful. I am by nature scattered, with a million 'half-done' tasks and ideas floating around in my head at every given moment. They are teaching me something that I've always known....life is easier with a little planning ahead organization.
This is a picture of Greta's backpack. Completely useless on a daily basis when you are a homeschooler :-), but she 'really' wanted a backpack, so she got one. Each night, she looks at her schedule for the next day, puts all the necessary books and supplies in her backpack, props it against the wall with her schedule (and beloved 'checklist'), and is prepared for the next day. You know....we could learn a lot from this 8 year old, and I do...every day.

making molecules

It's Wednesday.....hump day! We're working on Chemistry in science, and today we learned about molecules. Today's lesson (after learning what a molecule was), was to make molecules out of Marshmallows. THIS is why homeschooling can be fun. They could have been playing with the neighbors, but they continued on "molecule making" (and drawing each one out in their Chemistry book). Maybe because they got to eat one from time to time???
Thank you God for this freedom....this freedom to education our children in the way we feel is best for them. They are learning. They are learning....it's amazing.